


easy to love

by almightykdy



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Falling In Love, M/M, Nakamoto Yuta is Whipped, Strangers to Lovers, Traveling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-20
Updated: 2019-05-20
Packaged: 2020-03-08 07:16:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18889795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/almightykdy/pseuds/almightykdy
Summary: One month in Vienna was long enough time to get to know the city, to fall in love with it, to fall in loveinit, and that exactly was Yuta’s goal for the month. He fell in love within seconds and he needed to make Jaehyun feel the same within the month they were about to spend together.





	easy to love

**Author's Note:**

> i do [commissions](https://denini.carrd.co/#cms) now!!

With all the miles he’s traveled through, all the places he walked around and all the people he’s met, Yuta wasn’t a stranger to beauty. He wasn’t a poetic person, not really, he liked looking at art, he liked admiring sculptures and paintings, but he wasn’t one to look for stories behind them. He didn’t find it necessary, he was never curious enough to want to know what’s hiding behind the artwork he was looking at; just like he never wanted to know the stories of the people he’s encountered. Call him conceited but he cared about his own story before being concerned with someone else’s. He was more than willing to listen when someone needed a person to confide in, but he wasn’t one to ask first. 

That’s why he never expected the reaction his whole body had when he first laid his eyes on Jaehyun. 

Traveling around the whole globe for over five years meant that he’s encountered hundreds of different people; some of those he just smiled at when walking past them on the street, and others he got close to more intimately, but none of them ever made him feel the way Jaehyun did before he even looked Yuta’s way. The man — in Yuta’s eyes — was the most beautiful painting, the most delicate sculpture and the most melodious sound. Jaehyun was the best part of spring; he was a blooming flower and a colorful sunset. Jaehyun was the story Yuta wanted to read from the beginning to the very end over and over again.

Yuta, even despite being a romantic soul, didn’t believe in love at first sight; didn’t believe that you can actually feel an emotion so deep for someone you’ve never even spoken to. He felt like love at first sight was just infatuation that people wanted to make look more poetic, but Jaehyun changed that. 

The second Jaehyun’s eyes caught his, Yuta was in love. 

And despite never being one to ask first, he found himself starting the conversation because there was no way in hell he would let the man slip away. “First time in Vienna?” as an experienced tourist, Yuta was able to guess who’s local and who is only visiting, and his guess was almost always correct. 

And he was correct this time too. “Yeah, is it that obvious?” Jaehyun asked with a smile on his face and Yuta realized two things about the man: his voice was the most beautiful sound Yuta has ever heard, and his smile was the most beautiful one he’s ever seen. “I could probably use a guide, I’ve got lost twice today already and it’s barely four in the afternoon,” they both laughed and Yuta didn’t hesitate one second before offering his knowledge of the city. (He himself has only been to Vienna a handful of times before, but he knew his way around the main parts of the city pretty well.) 

Jaehyun agreed eagerly and after they got through the basic introductions, Yuta led the way through Rathausplatz to the park. Jaehyun never specified where he wanted to go, so Yuta decided to just take him to his personal favorites in the city, the Rathaus Park being the closest one. 

“What brings you here?” Yuta asked when they stopped by his favorite coffee place; they’ve been walking around for almost three hours now, and Jaehyun mentioned he could use something sweet. “Got your heart broken? You’re on a quest to find who you truly are?” Yuta joked and was rewarded with Jaehyun’s soft laugh. 

The man took a bite of his cake and shook his head slightly. “Nothing that poetic; my uncle just sent me way too much money, and I decided to travel for a while,” even after hours of getting used to Jaehyun’s voice, Yuta still couldn’t comprehend how beautiful it sounded to him. “What about you?” Yuta previously mentioned that even despite offering himself as Jaehyun’s guide, he’s not actually from here, but Jaehyun didn’t ask about more when he first mentioned it because he was too busy taking photos of the fountain in the park (Yuta didn’t blame him at all, he was the same when he was there for the first time). 

“I come from a very privileged family, and traveling has always been my passion,” Yuta wasn’t too fond of sharing the story with strangers because they were quick to label him as a pretentious rich kid who didn’t deserve what he had, but somehow Yuta knew that Jaehyun won’t do that. “And my mom is very supportive of my dreams and she said I can travel for a while until I’m ready to come back,” Jaehyun just nodded before taking another bite of his cake. 

Yuta almost felt like a creep when he watched the man lick the fork and then his lips. _Just almost, though._ What stopped him from feeling like that was the way Jaehyun smiled at him once Yuta looked up into his eyes again. 

 

“That’s not how I planned my first day here to end,” Jaehyun mumbled against Yuta’s lips before pushing the man down on his hotel bed and straddling his hips. How they got from the coffee place to Jaehyun’s hotel room was a blur, but they both knew what’s going to happen now. 

“Fuck sticking to plans,” Jaehyun chuckled and got rid of his shirt before attaching his lips to Yuta’s again.

______________________________

“How long are you staying?” Yuta asked the next morning once Jaehyun woke up. It was something he probably should have asked yesterday before sleeping with the man, before falling for the man, but Yuta was known to make rash decisions. Plus it’s not like he wasn’t in love with Jaehyun before he even considered sleeping with him anyway. 

“A month,” Jaehyun breathed out before leaning in to kiss Yuta. It wasn’t quite like the kisses they’ve shared the previous night; the kisses today carried more meaning — or at least that’s what Yuta was trying to tell himself, to justify the way a simple kiss made him feel. “Be mine for the month?” and Yuta would be a fool to say no to that; or maybe he was a fool for saying yes, depends on how you look at it. Point is, Yuta didn’t care whether he’s a fool or not because it got him Jaehyun, which is more than he expected when he woke up with the man cuddled to his side. 

One month in Vienna was long enough time to get to know the city, to fall in love with it, to fall in love _in_ it, and that exactly was Yuta’s goal for the month. He fell in love within seconds and he needed to make Jaehyun feel the same within the month they were about to spend together. 

They ignored the fact that Yuta was supposed to show him around the city the first few days and all they did was sleep until late noon and go on evening walks. There was a certain charm to walking through the streets of Vienna late at night — a charm you could probably find in so many other cities all around the world, but with Jaehyun by his side, Yuta believed that this was the best place to be, other cities be damned. 

After only a week with Jaehyun, Yuta felt like he’d never known someone as well as he knew the man, and there had never been someone who’d know Yuta better than Jaehyun did. They talked about everything, they never held back, never got scared of judgment coming from the other — they were perfect together, bodies and souls intertwined; or at least that’s what Yuta wanted to believe.

Yuta loved how excited Jaehyun got about all the little things, how appreciative he was about everything he saw around him, how completely enamored he got with the architecture, with the people. He loved how Jaehyun talked about his family and about his life back in Korea; how fondly he spoke of his friends, of that one neighbor that always asks him how he’s doing when they meet in the hallway, of the stray cat Jaehyun keeps leaving food for. Yuta loved how loving Jaehyun was towards everything and everyone around him. 

Second week was filled with art galleries and exhibitions. After Jaehyun mentioned he’s interested in art and paining especially, Yuta made it his personal quest to show Jaehyun everything Vienna had to offer; Kokoschka’s art exhibition, a tour through Schönbrunn Palace so that Jaehyun could admire all the artworks displayed there, then a day dedicated solely to walking around the city and trying to find as many graffiti pieces they possibly could. They both took way too many pictures that week. Jaehyun took pictures of all the artworks he loved ‘to look back on’, and Yuta took pictures of the only artwork he had eyes for — Jaehyun. 

Jaehyun seemed to be enjoying every second of the tour Yuta was giving him, and he was always quick to show his gratitude the second they got back to his hotel room each evening. 

Yuta always saw himself as a graceful person; he wasn’t clumsy in any way, he knew how to move his body in a way that would flatter him the most, and to him Jaehyun was a whole new level of elegance which meant that the two of them moving their bodies together every night convinced Yuta that they were made for each other in every way possible. 

But while Jaehyun was vocal about his love for art, for music, for everything around him, he was never vocal about his feelings for Yuta. At first it wasn’t a problem, but three weeks into their time in Vienna and Yuta was starting to get anxious. He’d always thought that relationships are scary simply because you never know what’s going to happen and how — when — they are going to end, but knowing that there’s an expiry date on his relationship with Jaehyun already made it a lot worse than the oblivion ever could.

“What is your pretty head thinking about?” Jaehyun asked him one morning — nine days until his departure — when he woke up to Yuta staring at the ceiling. 

Yuta could be honest, he could admit he’s thinking about their future and whether they actually have one, but he knew it’s not the right time to bring it up; and that there might never be the right time to bring it up since it would inevitably ruin what they have now. “About what we should do today,” Yuta answered instead. 

After a few minutes of Jaehyun convincing Yuta that staying in was the right option for today, Yuta reluctantly dropped his own idea to visit the Schönbrunn Zoo; they still had a few days left to do that after all, and it’s not like they had that many places left to visit anyway. 

Staying in for the day always included a lot of touching, a lot of kissing, a lot of after-sex cuddles and it almost hurt Yuta how easy it was for him to imagine that this was forever; that they were forever. After five years on the road, Yuta seriously considered settling down.

“You know I honestly wasn’t expecting much from this trip,” Jaehyun said it the soft voice Yuta was growing to love more and more every day. “But it made me realize that there’s a whole world out there that I won’t get another chance to experience if I don’t do it now,” and while Yuta was ready to settle down, Jaehyun was ready to move forward without him. 

“I can recommend a few places if you want,” Yuta suggested. It hurt to know that their hearts were not aligned — as Yuta hoped they would be — but he wasn’t about to throw a tantrum because of it. The only thing Jaehyun promised him was one month and that’s exactly what he gave Yuta. And it was genuinely one of the best months in Yuta’s life. 

“I would love that,” Jaehyun smiled and kissed the corner of Yuta’s lips. “Where you are going after you’re done with Vienna?” 

“Wherever my heart leads me to,” Yuta was lying. If he were to follow his heart, he’d go wherever Jaehyun’s next destination was, but he didn’t know what else to say. 

“How poetic of you,” Jaehyun chuckled before kissing Yuta properly this time; and the time for talking was over for a while again. 

______________________________

It was two days before Jaehyun’s departure for Prague when Yuta decided that one last thing he wants to do is tell Jaehyun all about his feelings for him. Maybe it was cruel to let Jaehyun go with the knowledge that he’s leaving Yuta behind to deal with a heartbreak alone, but it had to be done; or at least Yuta thought that it had to be done, for his own sake. 

“I love you,” he quickly figured that he wasn’t very subtle about his feelings because there was absolutely no sign of shock or surprise on Jaehyun’s face when he said it. 

Jaehyun knew — apparently he’s known since the very beginning — but, as expected, didn’t reciprocate. 

“I can’t let myself fall in love with you, Yuta. Not now,” Yuta wanted to ask when was the right time to fall in love, wanted to convince Jaehyun that there’s nothing wrong with letting himself love, but he knew that would just be unfair. The fact that he’s in love doesn’t mean he has the right to force the feelings upon someone else. 

“Thank you for the best month of my life, Jung Jaehyun,” he said instead. Saying it felt right then because wasn’t lying yet he wasn’t guilt-tripping the man into anything. They kissed after and they didn’t talk about their feelings again because the kiss said it all: _maybe one day, but not now – not yet._

They didn’t cry at the airport, didn’t make any dramatic scenes; their ‘break-up’ was calm, peaceful. Yuta kissed Jaehyun’s lips one last time and Jaehyun kissed Yuta’s forehead in return before turning around and walking away without looking back. 

They both knew this was the right way to say goodbye for the two of them. 

______________________________

The first few days — weeks even — without Jaehyun felt odd. Yuta had always been traveling by himself, so spending a whole month with someone left a mark on him; he only managed to spend three more weeks in Vienna before finally going back home. 

Osaka was just as beautiful as it’s always been and his family was as loving as it’s always been as well. Yuta’s mother was excited to listen to all of his stories from all around the globe because even though they talked on the phone regularly, nothing could compare to the real thing; at least that’s what his mother said.

She looked beyond proud when she listened to Yuta talk about Jaehyun and Yuta at first didn’t understand what all that is about, but as he listened to himself talk as well, he slowly started realizing. Falling in love changed him in the best way possible; gave him a new look on life, and the heartbreak gave him the life lessons he’s been desperately searching for for years. 

One month with Jaehyun changed his life completely. 

He kept thinking about where the man possibly is; kept asking himself if he suggested enough places for Jaehyun to enjoy — or if he would even enjoy the places he recommended, but each day Jaehyun was occupying less and less of his thoughts, and just a few months after their separation, Jaehyun became a fond memory, not a regretful goodbye. 

Yuta met new people, finally settled down back in Osaka without thinking about traveling again and he was proud to say that he was happy; satisfied with where his life was. 

The only person he was in contact with from all the travels he’s done was Johnny, a man he’s met when he was on his journey through North America. Yuta wasn’t one to _stay in touch_ , but Johnny didn’t give him any other option as he made sure to text him at least once a week to check on his friend. Yuta appreciated the sentiment — he really did — but he wished Johnny would just shut up every time the man brought up the topic of relationships. 

It’s been a bit over a year since Yuta moved back to Japan, but the thought of finding someone hasn’t crossed his mind once. He honestly wasn’t sure whether it was just the knowledge that there will never be another Jaehyun, or purely just because he didn’t bother looking for anyone, but he wasn’t interested enough to try to find out. 

“Yuta, you’re twenty seven and you’re living in celibate because of a dude you met in Europe and spent a few weeks with,” Yuta wished digital communication wasn’t as advanced as it is because he didn’t like how the condescending tone matched the disappointed look on Johnny’s face. _Screw you, FaceTime_. 

“I just don’t feel like being with anyone, why is that so hard to understand?” Yuta tried to defend himself even though he knew his attempts always end up being fruitless. 

“You say you don’t feel like being with anyone, but you’d drop everything the second Jaehyun would ask you to,” and Yuta didn’t even realize how true that was until he heard Johnny say it out loud. “It’s been over a year and you don’t even know where the guy is.. just stop subconsciously waiting for him, you deserve more,” the call ended then but Yuta kept thinking about what was said the whole night. 

Yuta didn’t regret anything about his relationship with Jaehyun, and maybe that’s why it was so confusing to him that he was still stuck on the whole thing. It’s not like he would do anything differently if he had the chance to relive it; the outcome would still be the same. 

______________________________

Yuta went back to ignoring the whole thing only few days later, because it’s not like he could do anything about it anyway, but then one day he couldn’t ignore it anymore, because it was right in front of him. 

In his favorite coffee place, at the table opposite of his, was Jaehyun, smiling at him shyly.

**Author's Note:**

> hit me up on [twitter](https://twitter.com/almightykdy) if you want to talk or yell at me, your choice


End file.
